We went to stay in Novotel Hotel, and had a swim there...
On Sunday, 21 November 2008. It was the 40th days since my wife passed away...
but i doesn't matter... the main thing is we knew that she had come to the place of eternally piece,Today is 1 month since my wife passed away.
And she's still haven't visit me .. yet.
I pray by night and day ... for her ... to visit me, and my son.
I miss you so much ... we missed you so much...
Oh, I'm sure you know how I miss you... because you know how much I love you.
When I drove my car, I missed you ... when you usually sit beside me.
When I go to the mall, you usually walk beside me and hold my hand.
When I go to the church, you always sit closely and hold my hand.
... and when I slept... you always sleep earlier than me, because you wanted me to watch
you, and hug you from behind.... than you can sleep like a baby.
Oh... sweet heart... how I love you so much.
More than anything in this world....
You will always in my heart.... forever....
See you in heaven...
"..be grateful to GOD, because every cause happened to you is the best for you..."
A small question deep down in my heart, "How can I grateful if I lost my wife...."
But, on my prayer ... I always said to GOD,
Sunday, me and Troy drove to "Taman Safari". It's a huge wild animal park in Prigen.
I just want to make him happy.... but on our way there...., my son said something that makes my heart pain. He said "dad..... if only mom can come with us now..., we can enjoy this trip like we used to have...., I miss mom.... I miss her much" and I saw a bit tears on the tip of his eye.
I caress him, and said "well... I miss her too, it was really painful when someone who we loved left us.... but we have to go on with our life.... even it will never be the same anymore.
But hey... don't let mom see us sad, that will make her sad too in heaven. Isn't that we always have mom in our heart...?"
Kids. Even they feel sad... it's not too difficult to make them happy.
Here he is... with 6 months baby lion.
This morning, I just been called and told by my sister in law that last night she'd just got a dream,
visited by my wife.
In her dream, my wife is so healthy, good looking, very bright skin and clean...
She said in her dream, "why everyone on my funeral was sad ... I was happy and no pain at all."
"Looking you all sad, makes me feel sad too...". she also said, "It was no pain at all, in my last I just
take a deep breath and then .... it happened ... I passed".
My dear wife, I'm still waiting for you to visit me ... someday... I believe you won't forget your
promise to visit me, talk to me, hug me and kiss me.... I pray every night to ask God to let you
visit me.... I miss you so much ... but I'm happy that know you are happy ... in heaven... with Jesus.
Since then, my son cried every night...
Everytime we went to sleep, we play the song of "Goodbye - Lionel Richie",
my son cried...., and I can't stop drop my tears... .
I told him... " don't be sad, don't worry .. mom is always around us, she will always be with us, even we can't see her ... but her spirit always live ... and she will always in our heart."
Every night, my son always pray to God and after that he always tell her mother about his day in school ... like he used to be.
Every morning, he always say bye to his mom. "bye mom.......", before he went in to the car.
Every afternoon, he always yell to his mom ... "mom, I'm home ....", when he arrived from school.
Yes, we always did like she never left us. Just like we used to be. No, we won't change a thing.
I even let my wife's stuff where it was, never changed it. I just want everything like it used to be.
Because I believe, she was never left us. Even she's not with us, but we believe... she's still around us. She always stay in our heart.
I just found the lyric "Goodbye - by. Lionel Richie" in the internet.
You will always in our heart .... forever ...
For more than eleven years we have been through our wonderful marriage.She had prepared everything... for any worst thing happened.
She had explain to our son what was going on and what will happen to her.
In the time when we fight her cancer, it was really awful. Her condition dropped so fast
that I can't understand...
But the important thing is... we had prepared for the worst. Me, my wife & my son.
Into Your hands I commit my spirit; You have redeemed me, O Lord, the God of truth and faithfulness.
Everything I had done to save my wife's life....
But ... God had a different plan...
She passed away on 11 November 2008.
in her age of 39, she left me with a cute son.
TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1)
We depart from Surabaya to Singapore on 19 April.
Very tight to get all the preparations, making appointment with the doctors in Singapore, tickets, hotels, etc.
And still we haven't got any hotel yet.
20th April, Monday.
Me and my wife went to see dr. Tham Kok Fun, an OG oncology specialist, Gleneagle hospital.
We brought all the medical datas to show the doctor.
My wife told to have another X-ray scan and blood test again. (not cheap)
After the result came up. dr. Tham refer us to see another speacialist,
doctor Goh Teck Chong, a Respiratory Specialist, because he almost certain that
this case was lung problem.
On the same day, we met dr. Goh, he suggest us to get more of the liquid sample
from my wife's lung.
21th April, Tuesday.
My wife was taken the liquid from her lung, done by a radiologist in Gleneagle hospital. (more money to go, and it's also not cheap, whew!!)
Sameday, the luquid sample was analyse. The result come up 2 more days, they told.
22nd April, Wednesday.
A call came from dr. Goh's clinic. They ask us to come over, because dr. Goh wanted to tell us the results (the result was 1 day earlier)
Dr. Goh told us that the liquid result is ADENOCARCINOMA. Positive.
This was the 2nd same result since we tested it in Surabaya.
He told us the result was positive. but the question is where it come from??
He suggest us to get a PET Scan, can be done in Singapore General Hospital with
SGD 2600 (Wooow...!!!)
We told him we need to discuss first, concerning the amount of money was really costly for us.
I called dr. Ang Peng Tiam's Clinic to arrange an appointment.
Nurse told us, dr. Ang will see us tomorrow at 14.00.
23rd April, Thursday.
We go to around the city (just to let my wife forget about the illness)
in short, 14.00 we reach dr. Ang's clinic. waiting for around an hour, then we see
dr. Ang himself.
He told her to get a PET Scan, and have to be done in Mount Elizabeth hospital,
cost? SGD 3200. blood test is around SGD. 300. Tomorrow.
24th April, Friday.
We got a confirmation from the PET Scan, the tumor was in my wife's left chest.
about 5cm. Stage 3B. Can't be cured, only can be stopped from spreading. and
a deadly cancer.
dr. Ang suggest my wife to have a chemotherapy on the following day.
The Chemo will be 3 stages, every 3 weeks.
the cost was real surprising, more than SGD 5000 for every stage. so the total
for 3 times will be ... more than SGD 15000. ( i think i have to sell my car for this
medication).
We got no money left, we empty our pocket and left only 2500 something.
The amount was only enough for half treatment. we got SGD 8 for dinner.
So that night, I bought dinner for my wife, it cost SGD 4. only for her, because
I have to save the SGD 4 for her meals tomorrow.
Last week, my wife cough badly. She never had this kind of cough before.
Couple of days later, on
I drive her to a "lung specialist", she have to Thorax X-Ray,
The result wasn't good. She got a liquid in her left lung, the doctor ask to suck the liquid out
of her lung. That night, we instantly go to the hospital to took the liquid out.
Afterward, she got to be X Ray again, to check the lung, whether the liquid is still or not.
In the meantime, the liquid was analyze on the lab and the result is ADENOCARCINOMA or
common word is CANCER. Wow, I really surprised but I didn't show it to my wife ofcourse.
On that night, I tried to search on the internet, what is ADENOCARCINOMA anyway. And I found out
that this kind of cancer is a deadly one.
Well, I decided to change the doctor to a professor (more expensive cost ofcourse).
With the medical records, XRay fotos, Blood test report, we consult to other lung specialist.
He ask us to have a USG (for abdomen and breast) and CT Scan (for the lungs).
Then we see the doctor again, well, I can see by the face of the doctor that this is not a kind
of simple illness. He direct us to see an ONCOLOGIST, specialist for breast cancer.
And the meeting is on Thursday, let's hope and pray that everything will be okay.
I simply request for other viewers, doctors or specialist that on fortunately happen to read
my blog, could possibly help us by giving us a support, consultation or inputs on my wife's illness.
A huge appreciations for all viewers that could help us. Thank you very much. And wish us luck.
Just met with mom, after almost a day seperated.
love dad, that night I missed the dinner, suddenly my body not feeling well,
Do not scared with spices if you really want to enjoy your meal.
Someday, someone had to be the figure.
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Ones saying "What good will it do what we should do if we won't try to do it"
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We like to promote our new website, please go to this address, http://www.icondsign.com
Thanks.
This is my parents.
The number one parents who raised 3 kids.
We Grown up with a strict rules, which comes to be a man with responsibility.
Taught us what is Good and Bad.
Nowadays, they just enjoying their times.
If you're looking for a quite, peaceful place to enjoy your vacation,
just go to this place, don't be hesitate, no need to think it over, even twice.
This place called "The Candi Kusuma Villa" The place for pleasure.
Here you can have every people dream of. Spaceful garden, sea view swimming pool.
A natural villa made of best quality wooden. In the morning, you can have a relax walk
on the beach just infront of the villa. You can see the friendly local people are fishing, kids are playing. A very nature place.
In the Afternoon, if you like fishing or just sailing, they provide a medium size wooden boat which can take you to the sea with a professional crew aboard.
Just... enjoy your vacation time in this place. You won't forget nor regret.
Hey, you can have visit on their web site here, http://www.candikusumavilla.com or
you can just click on my friendly links above.
Our Last Year's holiday was in Bali, a wonderful place to have a vacation.
We even like to live in Bali.
The Place is so beautiful, and the people are so friendly.
That's why many tourist like to go there.
You can imagine, sat on the beach, drinking a fresh coconut, originally taken from
the coconut tree. sea view in front of us... watching the waves catching each other, like playing happily.
What a life...
Here is where we stay at Candi Kusuma Village, Negara, Bali.
Last sunday, Our family went to Go-kart circuit. Troy loves this place.
This where he usually express himself as a racer. Check it out !!!
This is called "The Colloseum Club House"
Base office for the property management of Wisata Bukit Mas.
Where Lian now working.
Great building, great design, nice neighborhood.
On Sunday, we usually have a short trip to some exiciting places.
This time, we go to an ATV circuit in West Surabaya.
Rough place, many dust. Luckily its not raining, it would be a muddy ATV.
I need to find Troy's picture with GO-KART, and I'll post it here later.
But I think that's it for todays post.
Can you do this like me? can you...can you?
Hahaha...
I don't know why he did that.. but he really looks funny.
Wonder if a spoon on his nose. :)
This is Michael, Alice and their boys, Brandon and Jason.
They lived happily in Minnesota, US.
Well, if they really come to visit us in Indonesia this summer, we plan to go to Bali.. The Island of God. Swimming, fishing, surfing, everything...
I'll post again then.
