Our son's new friend

We went to stay in Novotel Hotel, and had a swim there...

Well, our son seemed got a new cute friend...
i guess her name was Chilla ... Sheila ... or something (sorry, not really sure...:))

The New Christmas Tree ***

We had been planning to buy a new chritmas tree... for eleven years,
Well... until the day that i heard my wife's voice in my heart, "what are you waiting for ?
go and buy it"
This Christmas tree is for you ... , sure you can see it from heaven.
And hope this can make you happy... I love you. :)

40 days in memory of my wife

On Sunday, 21 November 2008. It was the 40th days since my wife passed away...
I let my son to come with me...to put some flower on her grave.
It wasn't finished yet... i don't know when the management will finish the grave.but i doesn't matter... the main thing is we knew that she had come to the place of eternally piece,
it is in heaven... with our beloved God... who will always love us.

In the evening, we had a pray in our house... to pray for her.
8 peoples came and pray...
and in my prayer, I got a beautiful verse.. from God himself.
He told me that he knew my feelings for my wife... but He assure me that this was all His plan.
I have nothing to worry about, since He will always be with me...
accompany me in my every path... He will always blessed what I do... in my work and in my life.
my wife was safe and peaceful... with Him.

This is the verse,
(english) James 1 : 12
Blessed (happy, to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him.

(indonesia) Yakobus 1 : 12
Berbahagialah orang yang bertahan dalam pencobaan, sebab apabila ia sudah tahan uji, ia akan menerima mahkota kehidupan yang dijanjikan Allah kepada barangsiapa yang mengasihi Dia.

This verse made me love Him more than ever, made my faith even stronger...
while my love to my wife is even deeper...
I love you ...my beloved wife... I always will.

30 days in Memory of my wife

Today is 1 month since my wife passed away.
And she's still haven't visit me .. yet.
I pray by night and day ... for her ... to visit me, and my son.
I miss you so much ... we missed you so much...
Oh, I'm sure you know how I miss you... because you know how much I love you.
When I drove my car, I missed you ... when you usually sit beside me.
When I go to the mall, you usually walk beside me and hold my hand.
When I go to the church, you always sit closely and hold my hand.
... and when I slept... you always sleep earlier than me, because you wanted me to watch
you, and hug you from behind.... than you can sleep like a baby.
Oh... sweet heart... how I love you so much.
More than anything in this world....

You will always in my heart.... forever....
See you in heaven...

Be grateful to GOD

"..be grateful to GOD, because every cause happened to you is the best for you..."
A small question deep down in my heart, "How can I grateful if I lost my wife...."
But, on my prayer ... I always said to GOD,

"GOD, I don't know how... but one thing I'm sure of... that everything happened to me ... , to my family...., that was all in your plan..., and I believe every plan of Yours is the best for us....., I just put my faith on You....., thank you Lord.... thank you for Your best plan for us."

In every second of my life, since we fight her cancer, I've learned something.

Don't think that we may plan for our life..... because Lord had planned it all before we'd even born yet. Yes we may plan... but before that, we have to pray to Him and ask whether we have the blessing of it.

Don't think that we strong enough to facing this life .... because Lord love to the one who lean their life to Him.

Don't see money or wealthy as the number one priority in our life... because Lord who gave everything to us.
Worship Him... make Him happy...., and He will make us happy.
Like a father who wants to see their child happy.

Don't ask too much in your life, just ask Him to give what is the best for us....
Because what we think the best for us..., isn't what the Lord think the best for us....

We think that money can make us happy? .... Might be the Lord think that money can ruined our life...., give our faith on Him...., He knows what is the best for us....

A good example comes to me when I deal with my son....
someday he asked me for some snack, I forbid him because I know when he ate it, he will get cough. But he insist to have it...., I let him decide it after I explained what will happen.
He ate it.... and a few hours later... he cough. Then I told him .... "what did I say...."

Well, that will be the same thing like God will treat us... He is our father who know what is the best for us.... but unfortunately, sometime we are not sensitive to what the Lord forbid us.
Mostly, we don't want to hear what He forbid us. Mostly, we were too stuborn to see the difference what is "good" and what is "bad".

It will never be the same

Sunday, me and Troy drove to "Taman Safari". It's a huge wild animal park in Prigen.
I just want to make him happy.... but on our way there...., my son said something that makes my heart pain. He said "dad..... if only mom can come with us now..., we can enjoy this trip like we used to have...., I miss mom.... I miss her much" and I saw a bit tears on the tip of his eye.

I caress him, and said "well... I miss her too, it was really painful when someone who we loved left us.... but we have to go on with our life.... even it will never be the same anymore.
But hey... don't let mom see us sad, that will make her sad too in heaven. Isn't that we always have mom in our heart...?"

Kids. Even they feel sad... it's not too difficult to make them happy.

Here he is... with 6 months baby lion.