Julianarta Family Blogs

Celine Dion - Ave Maria

2011-08-26T12:09:00.001+07:00

Ave Maria

Gratia plena

Maria, gratia plena

Ave, ave dominus

Dominus tecum

Benedicta tu in mulieribus

Et benedictus

Et benedictus fructus ventris

Ventris tuae, Jesus.

Ave Maria

Mater Dei

Ora pro nobis peccatoribus

Ora pro nobis

Ora, ora pro nobis peccatoribus

Nunc et in hora mortis

Et in hora mortis nostrae

Ave Maria

Goodbye - In memory of my loving wife

2011-08-23T10:09:00.000+07:00

Celine Dion & Bee Gees - Immortality (Live In New York)

2011-08-22T14:35:00.001+07:00

So this is who I am
And this is all I know
And I must choose to live
For all that I can give
The spark that makes the power grow

But I will stand for one dream if I can
Symbol of my faith in who I am
But you are my only

And I must follow on the road that lies ahead
I won't let my heart control my head
But you are my only

And we don't say goodbye
We don't say goodbye
And I know what I've got to be...

Immortality
I make my journey through eternity
I keep the memory of you and me
Inside

Fulfill your destiny
It's there within the child
My storm will never end
My fate is on the wind
The King of Hearts
The Joker's wild

We don't say goodbye
We don't say goodbye
I'll make them all remember me

Cause I have found the dream that must come true
Every ounce of me must see it through
But you are my only

I'm sorry I don't have the role for love to play
Hand over my heart I'll find my way
I will make them give to me...

Immortality
There is a vision and a fire in me
I keep the memory of you and me
Inside

And we don't say goodbye
We don't say goodbye

In all my love for you
And what else we may do

We don't say goodbye...

Bee Gees - Alone (lyrics)

2011-08-22T14:21:00.001+07:00

I was a midnight rider on a cloud of smoke
I could make a woman hang on every single stroke
I was an iron man
I had a master plan
But I was alone

I could hear you breathing
With a sigh of the wind
I remember how your body started trembling
Oh, what a night it's been
And for the state I'm in
I'm still alone

And all the wonders made for the Earth
And all the hearts in all creation
Somehow I always end up alone
Always end up alone

So I play, I'll wait
'Cause you know that love takes time
We came so far
Just the beat of a lonely heart
And it's mine
I don't want to be alone

Well, since I got no message on your answer phone
And since you're busy every minute.
I just stay at home
I make believe you care
I feel you everywhere
But I'm still alone

I'm on a wheel of fortune with a twist of fate
'Cause I know it isn't heaven, is it love or hate
Am I the subject of the pain
An I the stranger in the rain
I am alone

And if there glory there to behold
Maybe it's my imagination
Another story there to be told

So I play, I'll wait
And I pray it's not too late
We came so far
Just a beat of a lonely heart
And it's mine
I don't want to be alone

And all the wonders made for the Earth
And all the hearts in all creation
Another story there to be told

So I play, I'll wait
And I pray it's not too late
We came so far
Just a beat of a lonely heart
And it's mine
I don't want to be alone

Gone, but not out of sight
I'm caught in the rain and there's no one home
Face the heat of the night
The one that you love's got a heart that's made of stone

Shine and search for the light
And sooner or later you'll be cruising on your ocean

And clean out of sight
I'm caught in the rain and there's no one home

Bee Gees - How Can You Mend A Broken Heart (lyrics)

2011-08-22T14:16:00.003+07:00

I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do.
I could never see tomorrow,I was never told about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow, noone said a word about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

Bee Gees - Too Much Heaven (lyrics)

2011-08-22T14:05:00.002+07:00

Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb

Oh you and me girl
Got a lot of love in store
And it flows through you
And it flows through me
And I love you so much more
Than my life...I can see beyond forever
Ev'rything we are will never die
Loving's such a beautiful thing
Oh you make my world..a summer day
Are you just a dream to fade away

Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb

You and me girl got a highway to the sky
We can turn away from the night and day
And the tears you had to cry
You're my life...
I can see a new tomorrow
Ev'rything we are will never die
Loving's such a beautiful thing
When you are to me, the light above
Made for all to see our precious love

Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb

Love is such a beautiful thing
You make my world a summer day
Are you just a dream to fade away

Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as wide as a river and harder to cross

Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb

Christmas wish

2010-01-04T21:19:00.002+07:00

A letter from Troy

2009-12-03T13:04:00.001+07:00

Shaiya - The Light and Darkness (Story of 2 goddess)

2009-11-26T08:45:00.010+07:00

In a time before time, when the world was only in darkness,
a Goddess came from another dimension named Etaine,
with a mission to create the world of Shaiya in harmony and prosperity.

In 333 days, through her will, strength, and a desire for a perfect world,
she created the vast and rich land called Teos Epeiros.
She initially created one large ocean that she immersed herself in to create all the continents out of her flesh.
Mountains were made high and rivers ran deep throughout the land in likeness of the veins that ran within her body.
She created green forests and plains that engulfed the lands in the likeness of her youthful complexion.
The sky and stars inherited their exquisiteness from the likeness of her eyes. All lives began from the hands of the Goddess of Etaine.
At first, she created the Dragon Gods: Thelaiosis, to help her rule the kingdom of Teos Epeiros. Threemans, one of the Thelaiosisians had suggested to the Goddess that creating two more races, the Nordein and the Dumianas, would dramatically help aid the progression of prosperity in Teos.
Soon after, with the help of Threemas, the Nordein and Dumianas were created.

The Nordein, were unfortunately born with deformities and unflattering features that made the Goddess deem them failures.
She cast them back into the soil to be forgotten.
Learning from the previous mistake of creating a race without a vision,
the Dumianas were made in likeness of the Goddess with the Thelaiosisian's loyalty and virtue.
All lived and prospered in harmony and worshipped the Goddess.

In time, the Dumianas developed strength. The Goddess gave them the gift of intelligence and knowledge, not knowing that such blessings would eventually foster ambitions, doubts, and growing disrespect and denial of her authority.

The Dumianas eventually rebelled and started a war that lasted for 7 years.

As the war waged on, the Goddess Etaine became depressed with her failed creation and became weak.
Her beauty faded along with her power.
Taking advantage of the situation, the Dumianas ended the Goddess’ life with a piercing sword.As she fell, her tormented soul shattered and was torn into two halves.

Upon her death, the land shook and the sky darkened as the living things throughout the world of Shaiya were quickly devoured into the soil as if to wash away the sins her subjects had committed.

A majority of Teos Eperios' land and inhabitants were destroyed. Fate allowed Proton and Eustatin, two remaining Dumianas, to survive and rebuild the lands.

They hid themselves deep in Mount Aspeleia and lived together happily for years.

One day, Eustatin found out that she was pregnant.
Alone in this world, scared, and confused about what to do next, Proton responded harshly and opted to take separate paths.
Proton migrated to the north while Eustatin moved to the south.

In the South, Eustatsin lived in solitude and gave birth to a healthy son.

Almost as if she was holding out until her son could fend for himself, she mysteriously died when he reached adulthood.

The cremation fire burned for 100 days, fostered only by the resentments and hatred toward Proton. Even in cremation, to spare her son the anguish of living alone, Eustatin's motherly soul created a young woman from her ashes to share a life with her son.

They became the ancestors of the Vail race, but still carried much of the resentment of the past.

For Proton, his life remained haunted by the actions taken by the Dumianas toward the Goddess Etaine as well as his own actions of abandoning the love of his life.

In his loneliness, he created a statue in the image of the Eustatin in a tree.

One day, the wooden figurine turned into a living woman in resemblance of Eustatin.

Infused with the blood of the Earthen Goddess and Proton, they became the founders of the Elven race.

For five hundred years, the two races of Vail and Elves lived separately,
unknowing of each others existence.
As their races developed and progressed, they expanded their realms coming into contact with one another.
The meetings were never cordial.
The Vail pushed Northward while the Elf pushed Southward.
Many battles were lost and won on both sides, but neither side could advance beyond the Fluvious River.

As for Etaine (once the Goddess of Etaine and now the Goddess of Shaiya), her body vanished with her death, but her soul remained divided in half. The division of her active soul created supernatural events that triggered occasional eclipses. When an eclipse happened, the world shook vigorously; the ground cracked wildly, and initiated a monstrous storm. The world of Shaiya virtually came to a halt, and the war between the Vail and the Elves momentarily stopped in fear of the Goddesses' power. On one of the eclipses, between the two oceans, a large island of Etos suddenly appeared and was born into the world of Shaiya. The inhabitants of Etos were of the Human race and came from the dimension of Gaia. After 200 years, the Human population prospered, but the island could not hold them and they were forced to migrate to the mainland of Teos. They soon found the Elves and formed the Alliance of Light.

In that same eclipse, in the Southern land where the Vail existed, the ground cracked open, and the Nordein that were once cast away and existed in the underground solitude, came out of the underworld with an evolved, stronger and larger form: the Deatheaters. Aggrogant, aggressive, and reckless at first, they waged war on both the Human-Elf alliance and the Vail as vengeance for their confinement. When they found themselves on the verge of defeat at the hands of the Human-Elf alliance, the Deatheaters were rescued by the Vail who aspired to create an force against the Alliance of Light, founding the Union of Fury.

Here our story begins...

http://shaiya.aeriagames.com

No Me Ames

2009-11-24T20:28:00.002+07:00

Dime por qué lloras
De felicidad
Y por qué te ahogas
Por la soledad
Di por qué me tomas, fuerte así,
mis manos, y tus pensamientos te van llevando

Yo te quiero tanto
Y por qué será
Loco testarudo, no lo dudes más,
aunque en el futuro haya un muro enorme,
yo no tengo miedo, quiero enamorarme.

No me ames, porque pienses que
parezco diferente
Tú no piensas que es lo justo,
ver pasar el tiempo juntos
No me ames, que comprendo,
la mentira que sería.
Si tu amor no merezco, no me ames,
mas quédate otro día

No me ames, porque estoy perdido,
porque cambié el mundo, porque es el
destino, porque no se puede, somos un espejo,
Y tú así serías lo que yo
de mí reflejo
No me ames, para estar muriendo,
dentro de una guerra llena de
arrepentimientos, no me ames para estar
en tierra, quiero alzar el
vuelo, con
tu gran amor por el azul del cielo

~~~

No sé qué decirte, esa es la verdad,
si la gente quiere, sabe lastimar
Tú y yo partiremos, ellos no se mueven,
pero en este cielo sola no me dejes

No me dejes, no me dejes, no me escuches,
si te digo "no me ames".
No me dejes, no desarmes,
mi corazón con ese "no me ames"
No me ames, te lo ruego, mi amargura, dèjame
Sabes bien, que no puedo, que es inútil,
que siempre te amaré

No me ames, pues te haré sufrir con este
corazòn que se llenó de mil inviernos
No me ames, para así olvidarte de tus días grises, quiero que me ames
sólo por amarme
No me ames, tú y yo volaremos,
uno con el otro y seguiremos siempre juntos
Este amor es como el sol que sale tras de la tormenta
Como dos cometas en la misma estella

"Dont love me" >> "You don't love me"

Tell me why you're crying...
Of happiness.
And why are you drowning?
for loneliness
Tell me why you take my hands so strongly, and let your
thoughts carry you away

I love you so much
And why is that?
Crazy stubborn person, stop doubting it any longer
Even though in the future there will be a huge wall
I'm not afraid, I want to fall in love

Dont love me, because you think that
I may appear different
You dont think its right
For us to see time go by together?
Dont love me, I understand
the lie that it would be
If your love, I don;t deserve, dont love me,
just stay another day

Dont love me, because I am lost,
Because I changed the world,Because its destiny
Because it can't be, We both are like a mirror,
And you would be my own reflection
Don't love me, you would be dying
Within a war full of regrets,dont love me to be on this
Earth, I would like to throw your enormous love for the blue of the sky
.

~~~

I dont know what to say to you, that's the truth
When people want to, they know how to hurt
You and I will depart, they would not move,
But in this sky dont leave me alone

Dont leave me, dont leave me, dont listen to me
If I say to you "dont love me"
Dont let me. Do not disable
my heart with that "Dont love me"
Dont love me, I'm begging you, leave me with my bitterness
You know well, that I can't, that its useless,
That I will always love you

Dont love me,because I would make you suffer with this heart of mine
that was filled with a thousand winters.
Dont love me,so that way you can forget of your gray days.
I want you to love me, just to love me
Dont love me, you and I will fly,
With with the other, and we will always be together
This love is like the sun that comes out after the storm
Like 2 comets on the same path

Love

2009-11-15T20:26:00.002+07:00

I Cry For The Times That You Were Almost Mine,
I Cry For The Memories I've Left Behind,
I Cry For The Pain, The Lost, The Old, the New..
I Now Cry For The Times I Thought I Had You

If only

2009-11-14T23:26:00.003+07:00

If only i have one wish ...
i want everything back again.

If only i have the power ...
i want to take all of your pains.

If only i have one chance ...
i want to make you happier than ever.

But i'm glad you came in to my life ...

If only ...................

1 year passed

2009-11-11T13:36:00.003+07:00

It has been one year passed ...
for one year i fend myself ...
Memory of you still live in my mind.

My Cutey friend & her cute daughter

2009-11-08T00:02:00.002+07:00

~ Nic & Erika ~

EF Spelling Bee 2009, Troy won the 2nd place

2009-11-07T23:15:00.004+07:00

Finally, Troy won the 2nd place for elementary grade
group A ... after a long fight with the other contestant.
wheeeeww ....

Troy's vacation - Singapore

2009-07-11T09:43:00.005+07:00

We had dinner with Ingrid, owner of Prime Society Restaurant, Singapore

Ingrid, my high school friend
Ingrid with her kids, Nick, Ben and Abbey

Troy's vacation - Singapore

2009-07-11T01:05:00.002+07:00

The entrance point at night safari, Singapore

Me and Troy, round trip with tram in night safari, Singapore

Troy's vacation - Singapore

2009-07-11T00:07:00.003+07:00

Troy with Merlion on the background

Merlion is an imaginary creature with the head of a lion and the body of a fish. Its name combines "mer" meaning the sea and "lion". see here for details

SunTec City, Pedestrian, after the duck tour

Troy's vacation - Singapore

2009-07-10T23:33:00.003+07:00

The Queue to the Duck Tour, Singapore City and River Tour.

Troy waiting for the departure time.

The Duck Tour.
It's an ex amphibian marines army vehicle was modified in to a nice
amphibi tour bus.

The inside look of the Duck ...^_^

Troy's vacation - Singapore

2009-07-10T23:21:00.003+07:00

SunTec City, pedestrian, Singapore

in the bus, no. 14

in the car park, pose with mitsubshi Galant EX (the favorite color)

Troy's vacation - Singapore

2009-07-10T23:09:00.003+07:00

City Hall MRT

Changi Airport, Singapore

Troy's vacation - Singapore

2009-07-10T22:53:00.005+07:00

Departure - China Air

That was really early flight, 6AM. and we left from home at 5AM.

The other part of my life

2009-07-04T10:53:00.003+07:00

I miss you and I love you

2009-07-01T07:59:00.003+07:00

It's almost my birthday... i still remember usually you had prepare surprises for me.
Even i knew it and pretend i didn't ... :)
Gosh, I missed you alot.

I miss your smile,
I miss your laughter,
I miss your jokes,
I miss you ... when you lay your head on my chest ...
I miss ... your eyes when you look at me,
I miss to hold your hand when we're watching tv ...
I even miss you when you're mad at me
God knows..... i missed you alot.
and God knows .... i still love you

Cute Erika

2009-06-30T12:54:00.003+07:00

Erika (3yo)
^_^

My Forever Best Friend

2009-06-27T22:38:00.007+07:00

She is awesome, the best girl i ever met.

A wonderful person that make kids love her.

A simple girl that make me admire.
You're the best, Nic. the best friend that i ever had.
www.nepeandaycare.ca

My Family, a happy family, unreal but it's there...The Angels Family

2009-06-16T23:06:00.016+07:00

É uma longa história para contar, mas eu gostaria de agradecer às minhas filhas em SL.
Eles são tão doce, tão agradável para uns aos outros, esta é uma família que todo mundo quer ter no mundo. Uma família amorosa. Uma família que eu nunca tive.

Passamos dias juntos em SL, que se divertir juntos, brincamos juntos, partilhamos os nossos problemas em conjunto. Ainda estamos muito distantes, nos sentimos perto uns aos outros.

Graças ao meu 4 filhas no Second Life. Alecsandra, Adrianna, Jade e Iz.
Você é o melhor raparigas.
E também o meu genro, Jeff e Kalib.

Te amo, meninas....minha querida...^_^.

My Spirit was gone with her

2009-06-06T10:44:00.002+07:00

I never thought that she meant so much for me....
but....as time goes by.....as i feel that i was attached to her most.
Every night i awake and i remember her.
the happy times.....it was so nice, but.... the last it was so painful for me, it hurts me alot.
My happiness is gone with her.
I know she didn't want me like this, but i can't help it.

Now, i'm just waiting and hoping that i can go there to be with her again.
holding her hands.....keep myself in her arms again....caress her hairs and kiss her.
My love.....i miss you so much.
I'm just counting my days...and waiting for Him to call me too.
So we can be together again in heaven.....forever.

I love you.

Missed Mom ...

2009-03-14T15:51:00.002+07:00

That night, Troy missed his mommy very much.
so he find his mom's shirt and wear it as a blanket.
he hugged it and felt asleep till morning.

The Tombstone

2009-03-12T11:17:00.007+07:00

Finally, the tombstone finished when i went to the cemetary.

it's not really finished yet. But, almost done.
I sat there alone, praying...and remember all the things we have been
through together.
We always face the world together hand in hand.
We always handle all problems with holding hands.
Our bond was so strong.
I love you my soulmate...you are my everything.

My wife's Birthday

2009-03-03T08:20:00.003+07:00

Last Sunday was her birthday,
That night, I was reminding my son about his mom's birthday...he looked at me in silence and then started to cry ... i dont know why, but i follow to cry. We cried and
we hugged each others.
Well, it sounds like we both are like a child. But actually....we are. :)

After we can control ourselfs, me & my son celebrating by praying together
in our bedroom... it was really the longest pray and most tears ever.
This was the 110th days since she left us.

Everyday and night, we still remember of her.
She was my everything, she was my light of my life and love.

Our Memory - Australia 2004

2009-02-09T08:36:00.003+07:00

The flower

2009-02-07T21:34:00.004+07:00

on Sunday we visit the cemetary...

My mother in law & Jess.

My son, Troy, Jess & Tasha.

Our Memory - Malaysia 2007

2009-02-07T12:26:00.007+07:00

SinarMas Group Friends

2009-02-07T11:36:00.004+07:00

Good friends can never be forget.

Property 21 Friends

2009-02-07T11:26:00.005+07:00

Here are some photos of her friends at Property 21.
Hope someday when they see this picture, they can remember
the good memory when being together.

Bye Honda, Welcome Suzuki -

2009-01-30T16:57:00.004+07:00

Finally i changed my car, from Honda Stream to Suzuki SX4
Brand new but cheaper....:)
The Honda was too old, it's been 5 yrs now. It's time to change it...The same black color....:))

Our son's new friend

2008-12-28T10:47:00.002+07:00

We went to stay in Novotel Hotel, and had a swim there...

Well, our son seemed got a new cute friend...
i guess her name was Chilla ... Sheila ... or something (sorry, not really sure...:))

The New Christmas Tree ***

2008-12-28T10:38:00.004+07:00

We had been planning to buy a new chritmas tree... for eleven years,
Well... until the day that i heard my wife's voice in my heart, "what are you waiting for ?
go and buy it"
This Christmas tree is for you ... , sure you can see it from heaven.
And hope this can make you happy... I love you. :)

40 days in memory of my wife

2008-12-21T20:22:00.005+07:00

On Sunday, 21 November 2008. It was the 40th days since my wife passed away...
I let my son to come with me...to put some flower on her grave.
It wasn't finished yet... i don't know when the management will finish the grave.but i doesn't matter... the main thing is we knew that she had come to the place of eternally piece,
it is in heaven... with our beloved God... who will always love us.

In the evening, we had a pray in our house... to pray for her.
8 peoples came and pray...
and in my prayer, I got a beautiful verse.. from God himself.
He told me that he knew my feelings for my wife... but He assure me that this was all His plan.
I have nothing to worry about, since He will always be with me...
accompany me in my every path... He will always blessed what I do... in my work and in my life.
my wife was safe and peaceful... with Him.

This is the verse,
(english) James 1 : 12
Blessed (happy, to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him.

(indonesia) Yakobus 1 : 12
Berbahagialah orang yang bertahan dalam pencobaan, sebab apabila ia sudah tahan uji, ia akan menerima mahkota kehidupan yang dijanjikan Allah kepada barangsiapa yang mengasihi Dia.

This verse made me love Him more than ever, made my faith even stronger...
while my love to my wife is even deeper...
I love you ...my beloved wife... I always will.

30 days in Memory of my wife

2008-12-11T20:02:00.003+07:00

Today is 1 month since my wife passed away.
And she's still haven't visit me .. yet.
I pray by night and day ... for her ... to visit me, and my son.
I miss you so much ... we missed you so much...
Oh, I'm sure you know how I miss you... because you know how much I love you.
When I drove my car, I missed you ... when you usually sit beside me.
When I go to the mall, you usually walk beside me and hold my hand.
When I go to the church, you always sit closely and hold my hand.
... and when I slept... you always sleep earlier than me, because you wanted me to watch
you, and hug you from behind.... than you can sleep like a baby.
Oh... sweet heart... how I love you so much.
More than anything in this world....

You will always in my heart.... forever....
See you in heaven...

Be grateful to GOD

2008-12-04T22:34:00.004+07:00

"..be grateful to GOD, because every cause happened to you is the best for you..."
A small question deep down in my heart, "How can I grateful if I lost my wife...."
But, on my prayer ... I always said to GOD,

"GOD, I don't know how... but one thing I'm sure of... that everything happened to me ... , to my family...., that was all in your plan..., and I believe every plan of Yours is the best for us....., I just put my faith on You....., thank you Lord.... thank you for Your best plan for us."

In every second of my life, since we fight her cancer, I've learned something.

Don't think that we may plan for our life..... because Lord had planned it all before we'd even born yet. Yes we may plan... but before that, we have to pray to Him and ask whether we have the blessing of it.

Don't think that we strong enough to facing this life .... because Lord love to the one who lean their life to Him.

Don't see money or wealthy as the number one priority in our life... because Lord who gave everything to us.
Worship Him... make Him happy...., and He will make us happy.
Like a father who wants to see their child happy.

Don't ask too much in your life, just ask Him to give what is the best for us....
Because what we think the best for us..., isn't what the Lord think the best for us....

We think that money can make us happy? .... Might be the Lord think that money can ruined our life...., give our faith on Him...., He knows what is the best for us....

A good example comes to me when I deal with my son....
someday he asked me for some snack, I forbid him because I know when he ate it, he will get cough. But he insist to have it...., I let him decide it after I explained what will happen.
He ate it.... and a few hours later... he cough. Then I told him .... "what did I say...."

Well, that will be the same thing like God will treat us... He is our father who know what is the best for us.... but unfortunately, sometime we are not sensitive to what the Lord forbid us.
Mostly, we don't want to hear what He forbid us. Mostly, we were too stuborn to see the difference what is "good" and what is "bad".

It will never be the same

2008-12-01T15:32:00.004+07:00

Sunday, me and Troy drove to "Taman Safari". It's a huge wild animal park in Prigen.
I just want to make him happy.... but on our way there...., my son said something that makes my heart pain. He said "dad..... if only mom can come with us now..., we can enjoy this trip like we used to have...., I miss mom.... I miss her much" and I saw a bit tears on the tip of his eye.

I caress him, and said "well... I miss her too, it was really painful when someone who we loved left us.... but we have to go on with our life.... even it will never be the same anymore.
But hey... don't let mom see us sad, that will make her sad too in heaven. Isn't that we always have mom in our heart...?"

Kids. Even they feel sad... it's not too difficult to make them happy.

Here he is... with 6 months baby lion.

In Memory - Come to my Dream, please.

2008-11-24T08:44:00.005+07:00

This morning, I just been called and told by my sister in law that last night she'd just got a dream,
visited by my wife.
In her dream, my wife is so healthy, good looking, very bright skin and clean...
She said in her dream, "why everyone on my funeral was sad ... I was happy and no pain at all."
"Looking you all sad, makes me feel sad too...". she also said, "It was no pain at all, in my last I just
take a deep breath and then .... it happened ... I passed".

My dear wife, I'm still waiting for you to visit me ... someday... I believe you won't forget your
promise to visit me, talk to me, hug me and kiss me.... I pray every night to ask God to let you
visit me.... I miss you so much ... but I'm happy that know you are happy ... in heaven... with Jesus.

In Memory - It's not easy to say goodbye ...

2008-11-21T00:35:00.006+07:00

Since then, my son cried every night...
Everytime we went to sleep, we play the song of "Goodbye - Lionel Richie",
my son cried...., and I can't stop drop my tears... .
I told him... " don't be sad, don't worry .. mom is always around us, she will always be with us, even we can't see her ... but her spirit always live ... and she will always in our heart."
Every night, my son always pray to God and after that he always tell her mother about his day in school ... like he used to be.
Every morning, he always say bye to his mom. "bye mom.......", before he went in to the car.
Every afternoon, he always yell to his mom ... "mom, I'm home ....", when he arrived from school.
Yes, we always did like she never left us. Just like we used to be. No, we won't change a thing.
I even let my wife's stuff where it was, never changed it. I just want everything like it used to be.
Because I believe, she was never left us. Even she's not with us, but we believe... she's still around us. She always stay in our heart.

I just found the lyric "Goodbye - by. Lionel Richie" in the internet.

I wanted you for life
you and me
in the wind
I never thought there come a time
that our story would end
its hard to understand
but I guess i'll have to try
its not easy
to say goodbye .....

For all the joy we shared
all that time we had to spend
now if I had one wish
I'd want forever back again
to look into your eyes
and hold you when you cry
its not easy
to say goodbye......

I can remember all those great times we had
There were so many memories, some good some bad
yes and through it all
those memories will last
forever .....

Theres peace in where you are
may be all I need to know
and if I listen to my heart
i'll hear your laughter once more
and so I got to say
i'm just glad you came my way
its not easy to say
goodbye.....You will always in our heart .... forever ...

In Memory - I love you so much

2008-11-19T12:50:00.008+07:00

I'm sure you know how much I love you...

since then till now, my love never less abit.

You are the greatest gift from God that I ever had in my life...
I love you when you smile, when you laugh ...even when you angry...
For more than eleven years we have been through our wonderful marriage.
Even you're in heaven... but you're always in my heart.
I love you.... I always love you.

To all readers, friends or just visitors, men or women.....

Love your spouse....
Love them before it's all too late....
Be gentle to them before you regret....
Say that you love them while you can say....
Kiss and hug them while you can do....
Forgive them before you can't....
Enjoy the beautiful moments that you can share with them....
And always...always be prepare for the worst....
Because you may never know what ... and when ...

Because, God will always wants to know....
How big is our faith on Him....
How much we submit to Him....
How much we love Him than the others....

Because... everything that happened to us....everything....
we always have to believe in Him...
that was the best given to us.... and to others....

In Memory - The Preparation

2008-11-19T11:57:00.007+07:00

She had prepared everything... for any worst thing happened.
She had explain to our son what was going on and what will happen to her.
In the time when we fight her cancer, it was really awful. Her condition dropped so fast
that I can't understand...
But the important thing is... we had prepared for the worst. Me, my wife & my son.

Into Your hands I commit my spirit; You have redeemed me, O Lord, the God of truth and faithfulness.

Psalm 31:5

In Memory - My Beloved Wife

2008-11-19T11:28:00.006+07:00

Everything I had done to save my wife's life....
But ... God had a different plan...
She passed away on 11 November 2008.
in her age of 39, she left me with a cute son.

TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Tough Weeks

2008-05-01T17:23:00.004+07:00

We depart from Surabaya to Singapore on 19 April.
Very tight to get all the preparations, making appointment with the doctors in Singapore, tickets, hotels, etc.
And still we haven't got any hotel yet.

20th April, Monday.
Me and my wife went to see dr. Tham Kok Fun, an OG oncology specialist, Gleneagle hospital.
We brought all the medical datas to show the doctor.
My wife told to have another X-ray scan and blood test again. (not cheap)
After the result came up. dr. Tham refer us to see another speacialist,
doctor Goh Teck Chong, a Respiratory Specialist, because he almost certain that
this case was lung problem.
On the same day, we met dr. Goh, he suggest us to get more of the liquid sample
from my wife's lung.

21th April, Tuesday.
My wife was taken the liquid from her lung, done by a radiologist in Gleneagle hospital. (more money to go, and it's also not cheap, whew!!)
Sameday, the luquid sample was analyse. The result come up 2 more days, they told.

22nd April, Wednesday.
A call came from dr. Goh's clinic. They ask us to come over, because dr. Goh wanted to tell us the results (the result was 1 day earlier)
Dr. Goh told us that the liquid result is ADENOCARCINOMA. Positive.
This was the 2nd same result since we tested it in Surabaya.
He told us the result was positive. but the question is where it come from??
He suggest us to get a PET Scan, can be done in Singapore General Hospital with
SGD 2600 (Wooow...!!!)
We told him we need to discuss first, concerning the amount of money was really costly for us.
I called dr. Ang Peng Tiam's Clinic to arrange an appointment.
Nurse told us, dr. Ang will see us tomorrow at 14.00.

23rd April, Thursday.
We go to around the city (just to let my wife forget about the illness)
in short, 14.00 we reach dr. Ang's clinic. waiting for around an hour, then we see
dr. Ang himself.
He told her to get a PET Scan, and have to be done in Mount Elizabeth hospital,
cost? SGD 3200. blood test is around SGD. 300. Tomorrow.

24th April, Friday.
We got a confirmation from the PET Scan, the tumor was in my wife's left chest.
about 5cm. Stage 3B. Can't be cured, only can be stopped from spreading. and
a deadly cancer.

dr. Ang suggest my wife to have a chemotherapy on the following day.
The Chemo will be 3 stages, every 3 weeks.
the cost was real surprising, more than SGD 5000 for every stage. so the total
for 3 times will be ... more than SGD 15000. ( i think i have to sell my car for this
medication).

We got no money left, we empty our pocket and left only 2500 something.
The amount was only enough for half treatment. we got SGD 8 for dinner.
So that night, I bought dinner for my wife, it cost SGD 4. only for her, because
I have to save the SGD 4 for her meals tomorrow.

Need HELP from Others and/or Doctors

2008-04-16T10:00:00.005+07:00

Last week, my wife cough badly. She never had this kind of cough before.
Couple of days later, on
I drive her to a "lung specialist", she have to Thorax X-Ray,
The result wasn't good. She got a liquid in her left lung, the doctor ask to suck the liquid out
of her lung. That night, we instantly go to the hospital to took the liquid out.

Afterward, she got to be X Ray again, to check the lung, whether the liquid is still or not.
In the meantime, the liquid was analyze on the lab and the result is ADENOCARCINOMA or
common word is CANCER. Wow, I really surprised but I didn't show it to my wife ofcourse.
On that night, I tried to search on the internet, what is ADENOCARCINOMA anyway. And I found out
that this kind of cancer is a deadly one.

Well, I decided to change the doctor to a professor (more expensive cost ofcourse).
With the medical records, XRay fotos, Blood test report, we consult to other lung specialist.
He ask us to have a USG (for abdomen and breast) and CT Scan (for the lungs).
Then we see the doctor again, well, I can see by the face of the doctor that this is not a kind
of simple illness. He direct us to see an ONCOLOGIST, specialist for breast cancer.
And the meeting is on Thursday, let's hope and pray that everything will be okay.

I simply request for other viewers, doctors or specialist that on fortunately happen to read
my blog, could possibly help us by giving us a support, consultation or inputs on my wife's illness.

A huge appreciations for all viewers that could help us. Thank you very much. And wish us luck.

Loving Mom

2008-03-24T23:00:00.003+07:00

Just met with mom, after almost a day seperated.
Mom shopping, Troy playing.
Dad... just watching... sob. :((

The Policeman

2008-03-24T22:47:00.004+07:00

Kidzania, Jakarta.
Troy's first career, a Policeman
look at his uniform, it says "Officer Troy"

Love Dad

2008-03-24T22:38:00.002+07:00

love dad, that night I missed the dinner, suddenly my body not feeling well,
don't even think eating something, just couldn't stop wanting to throw up.
after resting for 1/2 hour, drink some cereals, my body felt okay.
than my boy and wife came back from dinner, brought me the rib steak.
very juicy.

Tony Roma's Ribs & Steak

2008-03-24T22:28:00.001+07:00

Do not scared with spices if you really want to enjoy your meal.
look at me. I'm okay, do I.
Important is... hmm.. yummy.

Mom with new dress

2008-03-24T22:23:00.004+07:00

Mom, with her brandly new dress, just bought.
even the tag still hangin'...
well...., women....

Troy & Uncle Danny

2008-03-24T22:16:00.004+07:00

Someday, someone had to be the figure.
His uncle will be the one.
Same hobby... boy stuffs.
guns, cars, etc.

Easter Holiday

2008-03-24T22:11:00.002+07:00

Holiday = vacation = new places = new adventure
HAPPY EASTER DAY !!

The Shoe

2008-03-17T13:40:00.002+07:00

My Lovely Wife & Son

2008-03-17T12:50:00.003+07:00

Troy was hugging mom...

The Yap Big Family

2008-02-14T17:57:00.002+07:00

Dewi, Lian & Troy

2008-02-05T23:44:00.002+07:00

Daniel & Gunawan P

2008-02-05T23:33:00.001+07:00

80 years old Birthday Party

2008-02-05T23:24:00.000+07:00

80 yo and still healthy & strong.
My Dad's birthday.
on 4 February 2008.

My Products

2008-01-30T12:46:00.002+07:00

This is samples of my products,
Who would ever know what we become if we never try.
Ones saying "What good will it do what we should do if we won't try to do it"
This kind of bags are made for Promotion Purposes. Many Company, local or overseas, were ordering for these kind of bags.
We like to promote our new website, please go to this address, http://www.icondsign.com

Thanks.

The Grands Relaxing -

2008-01-30T12:10:00.000+07:00

This is my parents.
The number one parents who raised 3 kids.
We Grown up with a strict rules, which comes to be a man with responsibility.
Taught us what is Good and Bad.
Nowadays, they just enjoying their times.

The Candi Kusuma Villa

2008-01-30T11:54:00.000+07:00

If you're looking for a quite, peaceful place to enjoy your vacation,
just go to this place, don't be hesitate, no need to think it over, even twice.
This place called "The Candi Kusuma Villa" The place for pleasure.
Here you can have every people dream of. Spaceful garden, sea view swimming pool.
A natural villa made of best quality wooden. In the morning, you can have a relax walk
on the beach just infront of the villa. You can see the friendly local people are fishing, kids are playing. A very nature place.
In the Afternoon, if you like fishing or just sailing, they provide a medium size wooden boat which can take you to the sea with a professional crew aboard.
Just... enjoy your vacation time in this place. You won't forget nor regret.

Hey, you can have visit on their web site here, http://www.candikusumavilla.com or
you can just click on my friendly links above.

Bali, The Island of God -

2008-01-30T11:10:00.001+07:00

Our Last Year's holiday was in Bali, a wonderful place to have a vacation.
We even like to live in Bali.
The Place is so beautiful, and the people are so friendly.
That's why many tourist like to go there.
You can imagine, sat on the beach, drinking a fresh coconut, originally taken from
the coconut tree. sea view in front of us... watching the waves catching each other, like playing happily.
What a life...

Here is where we stay at Candi Kusuma Village, Negara, Bali.

Whooozz...!!!!

2008-01-22T23:49:00.001+07:00

Last sunday, Our family went to Go-kart circuit. Troy loves this place.
This where he usually express himself as a racer. Check it out !!!

The Colloseum

2008-01-22T23:11:00.001+07:00

This is called "The Colloseum Club House"
Base office for the property management of Wisata Bukit Mas.
Where Lian now working.
Great building, great design, nice neighborhood.

Race me !!!

2008-01-19T17:15:00.001+07:00

On Sunday, we usually have a short trip to some exiciting places.
This time, we go to an ATV circuit in West Surabaya.
Rough place, many dust. Luckily its not raining, it would be a muddy ATV.
I need to find Troy's picture with GO-KART, and I'll post it here later.
But I think that's it for todays post.

Why The Chopstick on my Nose ??

2008-01-19T17:08:00.000+07:00

Can you do this like me? can you...can you?
Hahaha...

I don't know why he did that.. but he really looks funny.
Wonder if a spoon on his nose. :)

My Cousin -

2008-01-19T16:45:00.001+07:00

This is Michael, Alice and their boys, Brandon and Jason.
They lived happily in Minnesota, US.
Well, if they really come to visit us in Indonesia this summer, we plan to go to Bali.. The Island of God. Swimming, fishing, surfing, everything...
I'll post again then.

My Lovely Wife

2008-01-19T16:39:00.001+07:00

This is Troy's mother..., eventually, my wife.. Hahaha ;))
Good looking? sure. That's why I marry her. above all, she's a good person, though.
Well, now we can see that how identical the mother and the son.

Happy Face? or Shy Face?

2008-01-19T14:33:00.000+07:00

Look at his face... happy? shy?
What about her face? smiling? yes ofcourse, I know that. even a monkey knows that :))
By the way, this is Troy and Rybca. She is his number 1 idol. Rybca is a teenager singer who was a nominee in Indonesian TV program called "Mama Mia". She's just 16yo.
This picture was taken in an promotion event held by Wisata Bukit Mas, a property developer in Surabaya, East Java, Indonesia.
The venue was in their Club House called "The Colloseum".

My Boy has grown !!

2008-01-19T14:06:00.000+07:00

Weeekkss !!!
This is Troy, my only son.
He's really make me scared to see him grown so fast.
He's 7yo now, 138cm height and about more than 40kgs weight.
Want to try to talk to him? in English? no problem.
Especially when you talk to him about games... Woow.. he can spend the whole night to talk to you. Hahaha !!! That's my boy.

Starting a New Year -- 2008

2008-01-19T13:28:00.000+07:00

This starting year, I'm really tired... & busy with my new company website, newly built.
Why busy? well... I'm trying to do it myself, that's how I know, how hard and how easy (when I'm finished then), but at least I learned something. Doesn't it meant us to live? learn something !!
Some of my friends had a different idea for what I've done, they tell me how fool I am to do it myself when we can let someone else do it.
In some circumstances, I would say yes. But when we made something and we did it, whatever the result is, we should be proud of ourself, hahaha...